Mastering the Art of Cooking with a Microwave Oven
“We live in strange times. If your idea of a hot meal is nuking leftover pizza with the box still under it, this one’s for you.”
Scroll down for a couple of good microwave recipes, the things to avoid when microwaving, a few essential tips & utensils … a short masterclass of using a microwave oven:
The Microwave: Friend or Flavorless Foe?
Let’s get this sorted. The microwave oven is not the devil. It’s not the Michelin-star dream machine either. It’s a tool. A humble, humdrum, humming cube of electromagnetic wizardry that’s saved more broke bastards from starvation than the entire Food Network lineup combined.
No, you’re not going to braise short ribs in it. But can you steam vegetables, reheat last night’s Pad Thai without turning it into rubber, or make an egg sandwich that doesn’t taste like regret. Good? Hell yes.
To be honest, your humble scribe loves cooking on the stove and has spent a lot of time mastering the air fryer oven … which, next to the espresso machine, is my favourite kitchen appliance … but the microwave comes into its own when reheating frozen foods. When I have a cook up, I cook for three or four people, eat one and freeze a few meals for later.
Now that the microwave oven is part of my kitchen gear, I figured why not use it to its potential … which is why I researched and wrote this story. A microwave oven is part of the necessary survival gear of the modern bachelor. A microwave will save you time, money, energy, and your stomach. Embrace it. Master it. A microwave is not rocket science.
“Some foodie types are snobbish about the microwave; I see it as a loyal friend who has had my back for over 30 years.” – Grace Dent, Celebrity MasterChef judge
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How the Hell Do Microwave Ovens Work (And Why You Should Care)
Microwaves cook by vibrating water molecules with enough electromagnetic rage to make them boil. That’s heat, baby. From the inside out.
Unlike your stove, which gently caresses the outside of your food like a lover, the microwave goes full maniac and cooks from within. This means:
- Liquids heat unevenly unless stirred.
- Things with no moisture (like stale bread or a hockey puck) stay dead.
- That cold center in your burrito? Microwave purgatory.
Plastic in the Microwave: The Good, the Bad, the Melty
Rule of thumb? If it looks like it belongs in a kindergarten lunchbox, don’t nuke it. You want BPA-free, microwave-safe containers. Not whatever came with your last Uber Eats order.
Can I use plastic cling wraps in the microwave? The golden rule is never allow these plastics to touch your food while microwaving – the plastic can leach chemicals into your meal. Cling wraps made for the microwave are okay, but they trap steam. That’s good for steaming veggies. Bad if it melts into your curry like a transparent squid. Better yet, use a glass bowl and a plate on top. Classy, like you’re trying.
The Don’ts: Microwave Sins Worth Avoiding
Never microwave:
- Never microwave Styrofoam (unless you’re trying to make napalm).
- Anything with a “do not microwave” symbol, unless you enjoy live-streaming your kitchen fire.
- Don’t nuke eggs in their shell. Unless you want egg shrapnel in your eyebrows.
- Don’t cook raw chicken unless you enjoy salmonella roulette.
- Don’t put metal in there. No forks, no foil, no “but I thought it was fine.”
- Don’t ever microwave takeaway containers with metal rims. They’re a trap for young players.
- Don’t trust the reheat button. It’s a lie, like that girl who said she loved you and stole your dog.
Foods that don’t do well in the microwave:
1. Meat Pie (Public Enemy #1) Microwaving a meat pie gives you the worst of both worlds: scalding meat magma inside and soggy, lifeless pastry outside. The crust, once proud and flaky, collapses like your last Tinder date. If you value texture, finish it in the oven. Better yet, cook meat pies from frozen for 35 minutes at 160°C in the air fryer. Simple.
2. Fried Foods (e.g. French Fries, Fried Chicken) Ever craved limp, sad fries that taste like they were steamed in a gym sock? No? Then don’t microwave them. The moisture ruins the crunch. Use an air fryer or toaster oven for redemption.
3. Steak Unless you like your steak grey, chewy, and crying out for a refund, don’t nuke it. The microwave cooks unevenly, zapping moisture and leaving you with a boot sole in jus. Here’s our pro-tip on cooking steaks from frozen: 190°c for 13-16 minutes in the air fryer. You’re welcome.
4. Bread and Pastries Pop a roll or croissant in the microwave and it turns into a hot rock within 30 seconds. Wait another 30 and it’s gone full rubber. Toast it or bake it instead.
5. Hard-Boiled Eggs (In the Shell) This isn’t just a bad idea — it’s a literal ticking time bomb. Steam builds up inside and boom: egg shrapnel and shame. Always peel first and cut it in half if you must reheat it.
6. Tomato-Based Sauces (Uncovered) They splatter like a Tarantino crime scene. Unless you enjoy red sauce freckles on your microwave ceiling, use a cover or risk living with marinara reminders for weeks.
7. Grapes You weren’t going to, but just in case: grapes in the microwave spark, pop, and can produce plasma. That’s right — a physics experiment gone rogue. Save it for the lab.
8. Hot Peppers Microwaving chili peppers vaporizes the capsaicin, creating a pepper spray cloud that will choke out everyone in your apartment. Not a party trick — just a health hazard.
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The Myths: Microwave Bullsh*t Debunked
- Microwaves cause cancer. No, they don’t. Unless you’re licking the inside of the thing while it’s running.
- Microwaves cook unevenly because they’re bad. Nope. It’s your fault. Stir. Rotate. Think.
- Microwaves ruin nutrients. They preserve more nutrients than boiling, actually. Surprise, broccoli-haters.
Do You Need Special Utensils for the Microwave?
There’s no need to play Iron Chef: Studio Apartment Edition but we’ve picked through the nonsense to recommend the helpful accessories:
- A microwave-safe bowl (glass, ceramic, or BPA-free plastic).
- A microwave cover or just a plate to stop things exploding like Tarantino’s fridge.
- A mug (a good one—you’ll be using it a lot).
- Tongs or a dish towel unless you like third-degree burns on date night.
Microwave Food Dish Anti-Splatter Cover
Tired of your Bolognese blowing up like a Tarantino scene? Slap this splatter guard over your plate before reheating and save yourself the post-apocalyptic clean-up.
The built-in steam vents prevent soggy food and cracked leftovers, while the finger-grip handle saves your hands from third-degree burns.
It’s your microwave’s best friend—and yours too, if you hate scrubbing sauce off walls at midnight.
Microwave Anti-Splatter Cover is available for purchase from Kogan in Australia, and from Amazon in the USA.
Microwave Oven Storage Rack / Kitchen Organiser Shelf
Claim back your countertop from the microwave squatter.
I use mine to hold the microwave oven on the top storey and an air fryer oven down below, but they’re just as functional in the layout shown to keep various utensils and microwave bowls handy.
This sturdy, adjustable shelf lifts your microwave off the bench and gives you bonus space underneath for spice jars, utensils, or your ever-growing collection of instant noodles.
No drilling, no screws—just snap it together and enjoy the order. It’s rustproof, heatproof, and so solid it could double as a makeshift squat rack.
Kogan in Australia will mail order these storage racks directly to you, and Amazon in the USA have them.
Amazing Microwave Egg Poacher
Poached eggs without boiling water, vinegar tricks, or swearing at the stove.
This is one of the treats that the microwave is very good at cooking … this is a whole lot easier than on the stove …
Just crack your eggs into the non-stick baskets, snap on the lid, and nuke for 80 seconds.
That’s it. No pans, no mess, no tragic egg explosions.
It’s BPA-free, dishwasher-safe, and bachelor-approved. Welcome to the breakfast revolution—soft, golden yolk glory, now accessible in your underpants.
In Australia, Kogan will deliver the Microwave Egg Poacher to your door. Don’t panic America, we’ve sourced the same Egg Poacher on Amazon USA.
Microwave Fish Steamer / Vegie Steamer Bowl
This smart steamer lets you cook fish, dumplings, veg, and rice in one go—no greasy pans, no stove-watch required.
Add a splash of water, separate your ingredients with the removable divider, and microwave until done.
It’s also freezer-safe, so you can pre-load meals and pull them out when hunger hits. Ideal for apartment dwellers and culinary minimalists with commitment issues.
The Microwave Fish Steamer Freezer & Steamer Bowl is available from Kogan Australia. The GoodCook Everyday Microwave Steamer & Vegetable & Fish Cooker is available in the USA from Amazon.
Microwave Multi Pot
Turn your microwave into a multitasking monster. This gadget can bake a potato, fry an egg, or grill a burger—without any actual baking, frying, or grilling.
Just prep your ingredients, clamp the lid shut, and microwave. Its cool-touch silicone body means you won’t need oven mitts—or a fire extinguisher.
Pop it in the dishwasher when you’re done. Gourmet without the gear.
The Morphy Richards Microwave Multi Pot pictured is available from Kogan, and similar high quality microwave pot from Amazon in the US is here.
Tips for the Hungry and Hopeless
- Add water to leftovers before microwaving—especially rice and pasta. It brings them back to life.
- Steam veggies in a bowl with a tablespoon of water, covered with a plate. Instant health.
- Microwave scrambled eggs with a splash of milk and a stir every 30 seconds. They’re better than the ones at the airport lounge.
- Microwave bacon between paper towels for a crispy, non-greasy miracle.
- Let food sit for a minute after microwaving. It keeps cooking. Plus, patience is sexy.
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Recipe 1: Bachelor’s Mug Omelette
| You’ll need: 2 eggs Splash of milk Pinch of salt, pepper Bits of whatever’s in the fridge: cheese, spinach, diced tomato, ham, despair | How to: Crack eggs into a mug. Beat with a fork like it owes you money. Add milk, seasoning, and fillings. Microwave for 45 seconds. Stir. Microwave another 30 seconds or until fluffy. Optional: Hot sauce. Required: Coffee and regret. |
Recipe 2: Desperation Mac & Cheese (in a Mug)
| You’ll need: ½ cup macaroni ½ cup water ¼ cup shredded cheese (whatever’s left) Splash of milk Dash of mustard if you’re feeling fancy | How to: Combine pasta and water in a microwave-safe mug. Microwave for 4 minutes, pausing to stir every minute. When the water’s absorbed and pasta’s soft, add cheese and milk. Microwave another 30 seconds. Stir. Eat like a champ. |
Our choice of cool retro microwave ovens
We’re fans of this retro-style Total Chef 20L Microwave Oven — a compact powerhouse that packs 700 watts of cooking muscle into a sleek, space-saving design.
Whether you’re firing up a quick snack or reheating last night’s pasta, this microwave delivers with 6 power levels, Quick Start, and Defrost by weight or time functions.
It also features 8 pre-set cooking modes for everyday staples like coffee, rice, pasta, potato, fish, pizza, and popcorn — so you can skip the guesswork and get straight to the good part: eating.
The 0.7 cubic foot (20L) capacity makes it ideal for smaller spaces — perfect for apartments, office kitchens, RVs, dorm rooms, or your weekend hideaway.
Available in red, blue, or black, it looks good on any counter. Priced right and available at Kogan Australia.
Using Microwave presets
Using presets on a microwave like the Total Chef is like having a lazy sous-chef who actually knows what they’re doing. These pre-programmed buttons take the guesswork out of reheating or cooking everyday items — no more random power levels or hoping your pasta doesn’t come out half-frozen, half-volcanic. Just hit the button for coffee, rice, pasta, potato, fish, pizza, or popcorn, and the microwave automatically adjusts the power and time to suit. It’s ideal for bachelors, office warriors, or anyone who’d rather not spend their evening decoding microwave hieroglyphics.
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Final Words, Straight from the Gut
The microwave isn’t sexy. It’s not going to seduce your date with crispy duck confit. But it might just save your broke ass at 2 a.m. when the fridge is empty and the only thing standing between you and a frozen burrito is radiation and hope.
Cook like you mean it. Even if it’s with buttons and a door that sounds like a dystopian car crash.
As Anthony Bourdain might say: “Your body isn’t a temple. It’s an amusement park. And even the Tilt-a-Whirl needs fuel.”
Now go nuke something, cowboy.
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